“I don’t like the way I look” is one of the frequent phrases with which my clients begin our communication. “What would you like to look like?” — I ask in turn. Next, each of the applicants has their own list of what they are not satisfied with in their own appearance. “What will change if you get the body of your dreams?” - I ask the next question. And then the clients begin to tell me that they will become more loved, sexy, and self-confident. Those who are not in a relationship will find a partner. Those who already have a family believe that they will become an example for their children and they will be able to build a different, happier life. Those who care about their career imagine that they will fly up the career ladder, and they expect a lot more from bodily changes. “What’s stopping you from getting all this now?” – I ask. “Like what?” That I look bad!” - I hear in response. Is this really so? Does appearance really play such a big role in the fact that a person does not live the way he wants? Not long ago I conducted research on the relationship between motivation and body image in women who are overweight. Before I write about the results obtained, I suggest you remember what body image is? The concept of “body image” was introduced by the Austrian neurologist and psychoanalyst Paul Schilder. In his opinion, body image is a person’s subjective experience of his body as a mental spatial image, which is formed through interpersonal interaction. That is, body image is formed from a person’s thoughts about himself and from how he imagines himself in space. On changes the human body is influenced by various factors: biological (we grow, change, the body ages), external events (we can get some kind of injury, as a result of which the body changes), environment (how did the family treat physiological manifestations? How often did they hug or physically punished?).The body reacts to all these events first, and then the psyche. But it is not the events themselves that cause harm, but the way a person evaluates them. If you think that the appearance of wrinkles on the face is the end of youth, then the person will begin to hate these wrinkles and will try to get rid of them, which will cause another nervous tension. And if you think that this is just an external change that will not interfere with living an active life, then the emotions will be different. In my research, I received the result that overweight women are more likely to experience discomfort about their body image in various situations. Accordingly, they may more often experience negative emotions about their appearance. What does such dissatisfaction with body image lead to? All this begins to manifest itself in behavior. As a rule, women avoid looking at themselves in the mirror, they develop a fear or obsessive desire to weigh themselves, and there is a reluctance to visit the gym. Accordingly, dissatisfaction with the image of their own body leads to the fact that women lose the desire to engage in activities that help reduce body weight. It turns out to be a vicious circle. So what to do? Start to work on thinking about your relationship to physicality. Accepting how your body looks is the first step towards taking care of yourself and building the life you dream of. It’s your fault that you don’t live the life you want not body image, but how a person evaluates himself. By changing your thinking in relation to your own body, your behavior will also change, which will lead to the desired changes in life. And to start getting to know yourself, I suggest the exercise “Touching yourself.” It is primarily dedicated to expanding tactile awareness. Sit back, close your eyes and touch your hair with your fingers. Feel their structure and temperature. Are they straight or wavy? Thick or thin? Run your fingers from the roots of the hair along the entire length. Trace the hairline with your fingers. It helps define the shape of your face. What does the face feel like? How what is possible is perceived to the touch?