From the author: especially for B17 A GOLDEN CAGE FOR A WOMAN Women suffer a lot, often, sometimes it seems like for no reason, but they always suffer seriously! Sometimes women suffer all their lives, even while married, being financially secure and protected. When long-suffering women come to therapy, their torrent of turbulent suffering can last for several sessions. And it is not possible to understand what exactly brings a woman into this state. But you can fall into a trap: if a woman has “signs of social happiness” (husband, child, work, income), then she will simply be considered strange, a woman who does not know how to enjoy life. If she doesn’t have something, then she can throw all her energy into getting that “something,” but even finding it doesn’t make her happy for long... And then internal, sometimes invisible, suffering returns again. Women do not suffer from what men or other people do. And not because of what they don't do. Women's suffering is much deeper, more archetypal and invisible. Sometimes they simply create a subtle background to life. And sometimes they come to light with hysterics, depression, apathy or loss of meaning in life. Women suffer from being caged. And there is no way for them to get out of this cage. “The cage can be social conventions that hold us back from self-realization or personal growth and achieving maturity. It may be our own rigid ideas, the desire for perfection, or what we call a sense of duty. Today, the cage often becomes material wealth or the desire to possess it, independence, popularity or luck. Everything that we use to fill our inner emptiness, and not to solve the problems that life puts before us, becomes a cage. A cell is any mental structure that becomes inert, rigid, absolute, in which no discoveries are made and any changes are prohibited.” Linda Leongard “Meeting with a Mad Woman” In the relatively recent past, this cage was a family where a woman was supposed to be good a servant for her husband. On the one hand, it was comfortable and safe there. On the other hand, a woman’s emotions and experiences were viewed as a disease, as something fictitious and frivolous, and her desire to realize herself in the world was considered completely insane! After the advent of feminism, a feeling arose of the opportunity to break out of the cage and become free. Finally, start deciding for yourself what and how to do, stop being limited by four walls and everyday affairs. But now women have left one golden cage, becoming hostages of another golden cage. Now women are prisoners of their work. They can no longer quit work, left without a means of subsistence, or feeling the purposelessness of their existence, the inevitability of their own degradation from lack of self-realization. Every modern woman has internal tossing between family and work, fulfilling her natural destiny and social fulfillment. On the one hand, I want to have a reliable rear, a husband - a stone wall, on the other hand, you want complete freedom of action and professional upswings, big money, dizzying success... Only a few manage to combine both, and almost all women suffer from this! Behind these tossing and suffering are hidden deeper differences : a woman, by her nature and internal world order, is not a creature suitable for a patriarchal, technocratic world. It is common for a woman to be outside of time and outside of reality, to feel what is hidden from prying eyes, to interact with the world at the level of intuition and the power of thought. A woman is mystical by nature. That is why it is so difficult for her in a world where strict boundaries reign - everything must be on time, everything must be planned and scheduled for many years in advance, her desires must be structured, she must be smart, but not smarter than a man, so that he does not feel flawed next to her. She can't be stupid enoughotherwise, a man will not be interested in her and she will not raise her children properly... A modern woman is always in the process of choosing either/or. Either study, or give birth to children. Or earn money herself, or be kept by a man. Or be a successful person - self-realization and development, or to be a successful woman - a wise, flexible follower of her husband. Although for her it is much more natural to be in the state of both/and. To be in the moment here and now. To be a mother and a woman at the same time. To be terribly smart and what a lovely fool, depending on the phases of her personal cycle and the moon... To be a very zealous housewife in everyday life and buy a bunch of completely non-functional trinkets, without which it’s simply impossible to live!! I want to be professionally recognized and be MARRIED. “Very often, for girls, the role of prison guards is played by loving parents, and after marriage this role passes to their husbands, and the daughter, who may have assumed that by getting married, she would get rid of parental captivity, continues to face restrictions in her life.” Linda Leonhard “Meeting with a crazy woman” Sometimes there is a very clear illusion that that same man will appear, protect her from these internal and external contradictions and allow her to be herself - such a slightly unearthly, cosmic, mysterious and unpredictable woman living outside of time and space . Unfortunately, this is an illusion. Such a man can only appear in the inner world of a woman, because the outer one will always want something from the woman, forcing her to fall into the next box of his expectations. But when a complete male figure appears in the inner world, harmoniously combining in himself: - fatherly caring, soul science, the need to protect a woman, to serve her - male wild and brutal aggression, recognized and recognized hatred, which has come to the service of the individual - as well as male sexuality, as the main driving energy of a man’s life, then and only then can a woman truly free herself from internal contradictions, break out of this golden cage and move into the “and+and” area that is natural for her. Then a woman can freely engage in family and self-realization, since the main thing for her becomes not the topic of social fulfillment and success, but the topic of compliance with the laws and rhythms of the universe and your own. She accepts all her needs, downs and ups, without the marker “bad/good emotions, desires, needs, aspirations”, but as the same natural processes as the change for night, winter and summer, rain and sun. This is a state when there is no contradictions between religions, because a woman sees the essence - the very structure of the world and understands words only as a means of expressing this essence. And a single essence can be described in different words. This is a state when you simultaneously feel like a whole and a part. When you follow an internal impulse, and it helps you to realize yourself in the social world. When your intuition tells you (and you hear it and react), where your balance is off! “All of us - women, and men too - are in the cage of a patriarchal culture, which has rigidly established norms of behavior and life ideals for us. The traditionally minded man who "protects" his wife by wanting her to stay at home is essentially limiting not only her, but himself, to a particular style. Today, many men are aware that they find themselves in the role of a performer. Often trapped in a corporate structure, they may lose their desire for freedom and independence. If they try to free themselves from the conventions of corporate life or their family's career expectations, they begin to feel guilty or inferior. Women complain about the indifference of men, but at the same time, not one of them wants her husband to lose a prestigious job and lose his high social status and the associated sense of security; at the same time, they are often afraid of the free expression of the personality of a man who has managed to free himself from these fetters.” Linda Leongard “Meeting with a Madwoman”!